Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I thought about you at Thanksgiving.........still hoping to see your face, hear your voice, and enjoy being with you again. I wonder if Wayne has been wondering how he'd cope with the disappearance of his children? I wonder if he even thinks about that, or whether he'd even care? If he reads this, as I am sure he does on occasion (after all, the letter I sent you with this address was probably intercepted by him or his future ex-wife. I'm certain that it never got to you........but I continue to write to you in the hope that you still manage to look here occasionally. I know that you used to look here, but I'm certain that she's threatened you with something new and evil if you come here again, and Wayne has probably lied to you about how he can check to see if you do.)
Maybe they are good together? As unseemly as it is, it is possible. In grammar, 2 negatives = 1 positive. As I reflect upon that last observation, the reality that the union of 2 snakes = more snakes is probably more apropos in their case.
It is still amazing that a person so incapable of love is allowed to have custody of anything other than an alligator or a sea crocodile!
I haven't been watching Beaver TV for more than a week - we've been busy with Thanksgiving and have been taking walks along the beach and going to San Diego to enjoy the neighborhoods and the Embacadero. I took the Midway photo on Sunday.........we both wore shorts and sandals and talked about you back there in the tundra! Your room and private bathroom are still ready and waiting for you! Life in La Jolla is not so bad, as you'll see when you come here!
We'll get some fresh fish and grill it.....take you to the desert......to the mountains......to the ocean.....go to The Fish Market for some of their incredible clam chowder or Ahi...........just get here and we'll do the rest.
Life on Beaver street is pretty depressing to me now. At first it was a novelty to be able to do it, but now the mere sight of her makes my toes and fingers feel cold. I don't enjoy that, so I don't watch as much. I don't know if they're still looking for my KeyHoles or if they're both just practitioners of extreme oddness. They won't find them for a few years, and if they do, they won't know that they've found them. I'm tempted to give them a phrase to repeat in any location, and then I can tell them where they were when they spoke the phrase. Laura and my lawyer have advised against doing that.
Time to light the grill...........tonight we're having yellowtail marinated in tequila, lime, brown sugar and served with fresh mangoes sprinkled with Pico Guapo! A loaf of fresh sourdough and some fresh veggies!! You should search here for more CoolWWW and Pico Guapo .
ps.......Wayne, here's a question for YOU: How would you feel if your children were ripped away from YOU and KEPT away??? Are you proud of your ongoing complicity in her evildoing? I'm looking forward to meeting you in December so that we can discuss this and other issues.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
I've been listening to the sadness induced by the loss of a necklace, and it made me think "How insignificant the loss of any thing is compared to the loss of one's child, and the absence of her love."
I'm determined to get through Thanksgiving and Christmas without being drowned in sadness again, but the reality of life is such that I will spend those holidays drowned in the grief of having lost you.
I'm grateful for the memories of all of the times we had together, and I'm grateful for the companionship and love of Laura, and those are the things which make it possible to live without being consumed by the searing, blinding, devastation of the grief of having a child stolen.
Your mother has a leathery heart.
Her new husband is gone so much that I truly believe that he is staying away from her in the same way that I used to when I preferred to mow the lawn and trim the bushes, being constantly bitten by mosquitoes in the swelteringhumidity and heat of July and August. I preferred to be away from her in the wintry forests when the air was so cold that it burned my lungs with each breath. Ultimately, I withdrew from her into the relative comfort of severe depression.
Her heart and mind span the entire range of love and thought, from A to B.
At the time, I didn't realize that I was trying to get away from her. Now, years later, it is most evident, and so obvious that I amaze myself that I failed to realize it. It's like failing to notice a water buffalo is standing in the spot once occupied by one's favorite chair! How did I miss that??
Wayne probably hasn't realized it yet either. Ask him sometime how he would feel if someone stole his kids and he couldn't communicate with them. Ask him how he can fail to see that his new wife's cruelty to you and me is more sick and twisted than the behaviour of most of the people any of us will ever meet in this life.
He can't acknowledge that she is sick, cruel, and twisted because the price of that admission means having to admit that he has been a part of a monster's scheme of torment. It also means that he has to admit to another major mistake in his life. Ask him what he'd feel if his children were stolen and kept from him.
I have digressed. I didn't mean to make my ex-wife the ugly topic of this post, and I'll probably come back and
Monday, November 22, 2004
"Balboa Park Open-Air Windows - Who needs glass or insulation?"
I was just thinking about you and decided to send you an email to say so!~
Have you noticed all of the Oldsmobile Aleros and Chevy Caprice Classic 4 door sedans around your house in the last 2 weeks? Keep an eye out for them when you're coming home or going out.............
German and Portuguese officials have been to visit me about Wayne al Qaeda, and people from the USA and UK are coming on Wednesday. I guess that they are interested in him! I don't understand why the Portuguese were so keen to know about him?
I've wondered what Mr. Avocado must have been told about me for him to become so frightened so easily??? ("You got some 'splainin' to do!")
I saw another Celebrity cruise ship in port and it reminded me of you, Layla, and the Zenith. It also made me think about the El San Juan hotel, coqui frogs, and that crazy movie about the Vikings - what was that thing they were looking for?
We just had 6" of snow fall within 90 miles of here!! Amazing!!! Lots of SoCalifornia kids are
going to the mountains to play on it - they showed pics on TV of kids trying to ride surfboards and trashcans down the sides of mountains near Julian. (No one told them that you're only supposed to use the trash can lid!!) They kids who rolled down inside the garbage cans said they didn't understand how to control the can as it bounced and rolled down the mountains, but each said that they were ".......gonna figure it out and get real good at it!"
We're going to walk down to the beach to enjoy the ocean so I have to stop now - I'll be back soon!
If you've received an email from SUN TRUST BANK - destroy it! It's not from SUN TRUST BANK. If you look carefully at the URL of the sender, you'll see that it seems to be from:
Look closer! It's from: sunt rustbank.com
Block the sender and move on.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
"The Open Air Greenhouse at Balboa Park in San Diego"
I really don't have any way of knowing whether you're able to check here or not, so I'll continue to write to you here. I was very disappointed by Mr. Avocado. I had hoped to befriend him since we have so much in common. Instead, he behaved poorly, exhibiting bad form, no manners, and, generally, the loutish comportment of a common Mexican thug. That being said, I'm very surprised that he and your mother are not close friends. I'm looking forward to meeting him very soon, and hope that he is less frightened by some quality face time than he was by a simple phone call.
I truly hope that his son is a more civil, person. I give the son the benefit of the doubt in the matter.
Enough of Avocado until I see him!
The sun is shining brightly here, colouring the sky with startling orange, red, pink, purple and pale blue hue as it nears the horizon. The last 3 sunsets have been the most spectacular of all the ones I've ever seen! I've never seen the sky painted with such vivid crimsons and blazing pinks. Clouds on the horizon were rimmed with fiery gold. All that was missing from the sunset each day was the visage of Jesus breaking through the sky!
The intensity of the sunsets has to do with the Santa Ana winds which have been blowing out of the desert. The upper atmosphere is filled with minute specks of sand(dust) and the setting sun paints every little speckwith myriads of blazing colour and each of the billions of particles must have been coloured with every value of the spectrum.
It's warm here - I just walked to the grocery store wearing a Polo shirt, shorts, and sandals. Tomorrow morning, I'll get up and walk to the fish store and pick our dinner from the catch of the day as it arrives! I expect it's getting cold back there now. Every time I go aboard the Midway, I meet people from Illinois, Minnesota, and other cold places. For some reason, it doesn't seem as though the cheddar-heads from WI know about California, or simply choose to stay in WI because of............? (I don't know why). (See the MIDWAY on the Seaport Village Webcam). Since I've been here, I've only seen 8 WI license plates, however it seems that most of Massachussetts is in San Diego!
If you go to the MIDWAY webcam site I linked, do it when it is daylight here or you might see nothing, or only a few harbor lights.
About this time every year I ask myself whether Wayne will ever see the horror of what your mommy is doing andwonder if he will make an effort to end her reign of madness. I know what he does, but I really don't know what he thinks. I think she has him neutered and he can't do anything. I would be willing to meet him to try to bring about an end to the mess she's created.
I'm in the midst of a hot game of internet chess with a worthy opponent, so I'll end here and go finish the rascal!
I want you to know how much I love you.......and that I do have hope of seeing you again.
with all of my love,
Beautiful Green Plant Backlighted by the San Diego Sun!
(Both photos in this post are from last Sunday)
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Just a little note to say "hi" and to tell you that I'm thinking about you more and more as Thanksgiving and Christmas draw closer. I want to send you another gift for Christmas but I'm certain that it will be stolen again, or thrown away. I checked the weather back there today and found that you actually had a nicer day than we did! The temperature was the same, but it was gray and rainy here.
I want you to think about your dreams, and if they seems real to you then believe in them, invest yourself in them, and make them reality. Beaver-Vision has been boring today because the house has been empty. No-one's home!
I'm going to walk down to the beach and watch the sun set. I'll post a few pics here a little later.
Note the tendency of this creature to foster lingering ulcers and scars.