Friday, September 26, 2003
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Vernon Hills could replace one of its first grade teacher with a modestly intelligent dog, and that dog would have as much knowledge and capacity for thought as the teacher it replaced.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
It's been said that his wife killed him
I relish the opportunity to tell that to the coffee shop kids because they always gape at me with wide eyes and say "Omigod..........you're.............like not kidding are you?"
I tell them that I am like serious. They tell their co-workers and I often get a free latte by confessing my cultural ignorance. The girls at the counter feel an obligation to bring me into the modern era by enabling me to taste for free, almost everything their coffee shops sell.
It would be wrong for me to deprive them of that opportunity by admitting that they've been giving me free lattes since November.
Duraflame logs!! That's the name I was looking for!! Wax and sawdust in a compressed roll. Fireplace tootsie rolls!! Speaking of Tootsie rolls.............do they still make those??
Do trick or treaters still want candy on Halloween, or is it their intent to loot homes??
If you go to Peet's or Starbucks and get 2 lbs of "regular" coffee.......you'll never like Safeway or Folger's coffee again. Just don't get Sumatra, or Kenya, or some other "off-tasting", super strong stuff.
It's so bad that people who want to seem like experts proclaim it to be "superior" It's like modern art....somebody welds a few pipes to a wrecked car and asks for $275,000 for it. A person who wants to be known as an art expert calls it a masterpiece, and before you know it, it's planted in the front lawn of a civic building like a library or a hospital.
The coffee served in restaurants gives me heartburn now. It just tastes like brown water should be expected to taste: BAD. No real distinctive flavor or aroma, just hot, dirty-looking brown water. IHOP, Denny's, Carrow's and gunky little franchise restaurants like those sell that kind of brackish fluid as coffee, and refill your cup as many times as you want them to. Are they were scooping water out of a puddle and heating it?
They only put about 2 cups of coffee in those pitchers they serve coffee in. It seems like you're getting a lot of coffee, but it's only an illusion.
If Peet's and Starbuck's buy only the best coffee, who is buying the bad stuff?
My youngest sister has 2 sons who have learning dysfunctions. One of them, the 20 year old, turned his addiction to computer games into an $85,000 salary working for Microsoft.
I don't know how he managed to end up there. The other one is riding a skateboard around Seattle.
Us poor husbands!
Let's talk about "Bob", the hypothetical husband.
Bob works all day, earns his money, and when he comes home, he wants to relax and enjoy the things which give him pleasure. It might be making furniture, or looking at the stars, or watching sports on TV. It ain't decorating the house!
One day, Bob comes home and finds that his wife wants him to repaint a room, and worse......finds that all of the nail holes have been spackled! It probably took years to get them in just the right places!! And now.........they're gone!! Now hanging over his head is the imperative of having to paint the walls. He may just get in his little Jap pickup truck and drive the logging roads and sing Scottish folk songs for 3 days and then turn up at a small general store by a remote lake in the mountains when the chips and beer run out.
Long live Bob!!
I do miss my friends, and thunderstorms, and the leaves of Autumn, and large parking spaces and straight roads, and people who use turn signals, and so on. The basic southern Californian has very little awareness of others, and almost no concept of courtesy. I think they were all raised by wolves.
We have a fireplace here, but I haven't seen any trees!!! I don't know what they burn in fireplaces in California!! Have you ever burned those little rolls of compressed wax and sawdust that they sell in the supermarkets? You put them in the fireplace and light the wrapper. They burn, give off heat and light, but have none of the smell or the snap of real firewood. I remember Fall and Winter in Illinois, walking around the neighborhood, smelling burning leaves, and the fires that other people had burning in their fireplaces. Other people's fires always smell good!
I'm trying to awaken..........gotta go brew a fresh pot of coffee. Laura is a coffee snob and has converted me. I used to buy stuff like Hills Bros Colombian, or Dark Roast, or French Blend. Now I buy coffee from Peet's. Anything else tastes like dirty water. (Pretty snobby, huh?) I've also learned to enjoy Lattes. If I don't watch myself, I'll be eating seaweed and sprouts!
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
How can an nearly illiterate and highly undereducated woman who is incapable of writing her own college papers, and is incapable of remedial math without a calculator with big buttons even be thought of as one who is qualified to teach anything to anyone? How can she teach what she doesn't know to children who are more intelligent than she is?
What I like about questions like the last one is that Amy used to ask me on a regular basis, how her mother could be a teacher, since she couldn't think logically, or understand what she read , could barely write, or do basic arithmetic without either of us helping her. Now, that new chubby little hubby is probably doing her thinking for her and her colleagues are unknowingly supplying her with new ideas. (She stays late and copies the ideas they've created)
She is a drone. No spark in that little mind. She is a parasite who sucks ideas from other teachers and presents them as her own.