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Saturday, September 20, 2003

Car alarms and barking dogs should be outlawed. In fact, dogs should not be allowed in parks or on sidewalks or in public at all until kangaroos and longhorn steers have the same privilege. Who's to say that one is worse than the other? Car alarms should be taxed heavily. Thieves know that alarms irritate people, and they pretend to be empathetic,and smile and apologize for the noise as they continue to steal the car.

Vernon Hills could replace one of its first grade teacher with a modestly intelligent dog, and that dog would have as much knowledge and capacity for thought as the teacher it replaced.

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