Thursday, September 18, 2003
I relish the opportunity to tell that to the coffee shop kids because they always gape at me with wide eyes and say "Omigod..........you're.............like not kidding are you?"
I tell them that I am like serious. They tell their co-workers and I often get a free latte by confessing my cultural ignorance. The girls at the counter feel an obligation to bring me into the modern era by enabling me to taste for free, almost everything their coffee shops sell.
It would be wrong for me to deprive them of that opportunity by admitting that they've been giving me free lattes since November.
Duraflame logs!! That's the name I was looking for!! Wax and sawdust in a compressed roll. Fireplace tootsie rolls!! Speaking of Tootsie rolls.............do they still make those??
Do trick or treaters still want candy on Halloween, or is it their intent to loot homes??
If you go to Peet's or Starbucks and get 2 lbs of "regular" coffee.......you'll never like Safeway or Folger's coffee again. Just don't get Sumatra, or Kenya, or some other "off-tasting", super strong stuff.
It's so bad that people who want to seem like experts proclaim it to be "superior" It's like modern art....somebody welds a few pipes to a wrecked car and asks for $275,000 for it. A person who wants to be known as an art expert calls it a masterpiece, and before you know it, it's planted in the front lawn of a civic building like a library or a hospital.
The coffee served in restaurants gives me heartburn now. It just tastes like brown water should be expected to taste: BAD. No real distinctive flavor or aroma, just hot, dirty-looking brown water. IHOP, Denny's, Carrow's and gunky little franchise restaurants like those sell that kind of brackish fluid as coffee, and refill your cup as many times as you want them to. Are they were scooping water out of a puddle and heating it?
They only put about 2 cups of coffee in those pitchers they serve coffee in. It seems like you're getting a lot of coffee, but it's only an illusion.
If Peet's and Starbuck's buy only the best coffee, who is buying the bad stuff?
My youngest sister has 2 sons who have learning dysfunctions. One of them, the 20 year old, turned his addiction to computer games into an $85,000 salary working for Microsoft.
I don't know how he managed to end up there. The other one is riding a skateboard around Seattle.
Us poor husbands!
Let's talk about "Bob", the hypothetical husband.
Bob works all day, earns his money, and when he comes home, he wants to relax and enjoy the things which give him pleasure. It might be making furniture, or looking at the stars, or watching sports on TV. It ain't decorating the house!
One day, Bob comes home and finds that his wife wants him to repaint a room, and worse......finds that all of the nail holes have been spackled! It probably took years to get them in just the right places!! And now.........they're gone!! Now hanging over his head is the imperative of having to paint the walls. He may just get in his little Jap pickup truck and drive the logging roads and sing Scottish folk songs for 3 days and then turn up at a small general store by a remote lake in the mountains when the chips and beer run out.
Long live Bob!!