Sunday, May 16, 2004
Just a few thoughts via "Owl" for you on an unusual gray day in La Jolla. I think about you every day and wonder how you're getting on . There is no difference between you and the children whose faces we see on milk cartons every day. You have been "legally kidnapped" by your mother, who is like an evil witch, holding the beautiful princess prisoner in her castle.
I know that it is a nice castle because she and her attorneys somehow contrived to steal it from me at a time when I was in no mental, emotional, or physical condition to make any decision including what to eat and what time to go to bed, much less how to dispose of my half of the marital estate. The prescriptions I was taking rendered me incapable of making sound, informed decisions......and she and her attorney knew it.
Doctors, psychiatrists, and legal people I've consulted with since arriving in California are unanimous in their disbelief that any government in modern America allowed such a legal connivance to occur. Enough said about that(for the time being).
It is difficult to write these letters because I have the feeling that you will never see them, but I will keep writing here because it is the only way I have of expressing my thoughts and my love for you.
I would love it if you could find a way to contact me by email, letter, or AIM instant messenger. If you are careful, use a PC at a library or a friend's home and "cover your tracks", you can contact me without fear of more reprisal from your mother or her new husband. You are a teenager and certainly old enough and smart enough to be able to write a letter, make a phone call, or send an email.
Since you don't seem to ever see these statements, they seem to be without purpose, but I feel that they are therapeutic for me, and I continue to hold the hope that you will be able to read them one day, and you will know that I never stopped loving you and that I never gave up in spite of what she may have done or told you.
I love you, miss you, want to re-establish the relationship with you that we had (given allowances for the time she's stolen from us and given the fact that you are no longer a little girl, and given the fact that I have now certain limitations which affect the things I can do. They won't be apparent, but I'll tell you about them when we meet).
I'll send you more letters by US Post, but inasmuch as your mother and the new guy apparently intercept the mail I send you and dispose of it, or prevent you from receiving it, I think that "Owls" may be the better way of expressing my thoughts and feelings. I have sent you this email address previously but I'm certain that they've intercepted that information and have denied you access to it, or threatened you, your security, your well-being and your safety.
Given the nature of inevitability, I feel that someday you may be curious to see if any information about you is on the internet. If and when you finally make that search, you will find this place and finally will know that I have been trying to keep you in my life and they have been trying to make you think that I have given up on you. I haven't done that, and I NEVER will!! I've been sending you a steady stream of postcards, letters, gifts of all sorts, and have only received a few highly censored letters which fail to acknowldge 99.5% of what I've sent you.
The fact that they intercepted the card I sent you for Christmas and presumably took the money from it still astounds me, but the reality of your situation is that nothing those two do should astound anyone. I'm sorry that you have had to endure life with them for these past years. You have a lot invested in your high school life and activities, but if things become intolerable, you can always stay in La Jolla with us. LJ High is only a few blocks away, as is the ocean.
No matter what she has been telling you.....you DO have GOOD, STRONG, VIABLE choices available to you.
I love you Amy,