Friday, April 16, 2004
I really don't know if you've been getting anything I've sent you in the mail. I feel that your mother and her new husband have been intercepting my mail to you and throwing it away. I don't even know if you've ever read any of this, or seen any of the photos I've sent you or any of those which I've posted here.
In the past, you've alluded to how long it's been since you've heard from me, yet I've been very faithful and consistent in my letter writing to you. I even established this site so that you could contact me from a public library or a friend's house if you chose to, but you never have.
I hear nothing for months, and then I receive a letter from you in an envelope addressed by your mother. Your mother's new husband even changed the return address she put on one of the letters and replaced it with one of his own.
It took 3 people to send that letter! You to write it, your mother to address it, and the new guy to re-address it. One of the letters you wrote to me had been pried open by the person who mailed it, and then poorly resealed.
Murderers in prison are not as controlled and censored as you are.
All I want to do is be able to tell you that I love you, give you a hug, talk with you freely, answer the questions you must be exploding with, and just see you again.
I do not believe that any of those are unreasonable requests, and I am still stunned that your mother was able to have the law aid her in "stealing" you. At the time she did that, I was being treated for depression by too many doctors and was being given too many prescriptions.
Her skullduggery was accomplished while I was severely depressed, and influenced by those medications, or in the hospital. I was unable to defend myself, or you. She took advantage of that situation, and for some reason, has continued her campaign of hate.
Somehow, during that period when I was being prescribed too many anti-depressants by too many doctors, she gained legal contol of the marital estate in exchange for a fraction of its value. I don't remember any of that, but your aunt Susie told me that it seems that I signed somthing. Clearly, she and her attorney took advantage of my impaired state and the effects of the prescriptions on my ability to think clearly.
Even though the court directed her to return my personal effects, she has kept my stereo equipment and speakers, my tools, all of the photos and videos I took, and many other personal items. She chooses which laws she will obey, and lies readily to obtain what she wants from the law.
All that I REALLY want from her is free, unrestricted communication with you. If you don't want that, then I will have to hear that from you when you are not in any position to be influenced by her. She always was a bully, and still is.
She's kept us apart for 4 years. I honestly don't understand what reason she has for doing that.
No one else who reads this understands her motives either. Neither do her colleagues. Neither do your neighbors. Neither do most of her relatives.
Since I don't know if you are receiving my letters and cards............I will continue to post here and hope that you're able to read them.
Like the owls in Harry Potter, I will keep trying until I am able to reach you, and you are able to reach me!!
In the movies, they always say that the pain will go away........I can tell you that it never does. It gets worse. I remember the fun we had, and try to imagine the fun that we might have had, and the relationship we might have been able to grow as you were growing up.
You were a fiery, defiant daughter when you told your mother "NO!!", as she demanded that you leave the house with her that night. Is all of that fire now gone? Has she managed to smother your love? She can't smother mine, and I will ALWAYS love you, and will welcome you in La Jolla if you want to come live here!
Tomorrow, we're going to a street fair in Encinitas with more than 400 artists and musicians.
With all of my love,